There are some Woody Allen movies that are so good, you can’t think of anything more endearing (Crimes & Misdemeanors, Annie Hall, Match Point, even Scoop). Unfortunately, there are also some that miss the mark so completely that you can‘t think of anything more frustrating (Deconstructing Harry, Celebrity, and his latest flop, Vicky Cristina Barcelona).
Vicky Cristina Barcelona is only mildly entertaining despite standout performances from Penelope Cruz and Javier Bardem. The story sets up a love triangle by placing its protagonists, Vicky (Rebecca Hall) and Cristina (Scarlett Johansson) in Barcelona for the summer. Vicky is engaged to another American named Doug.
After meeting a Spanish painter named Juan Antonio (Javier Bardem), Vicky is unimpressed initially and further annoyed that her friend, Cristina, is swept away by his (not so) alluring charm. This soon changes after they spend a night out together and conclude the night making love. Vicky acknowledges the night as a mistake, but can’t stop thinking about Juan Antonio. The feeling is reciprocal, but Juan Antonio begins dating Christina because she is the ‘sure thing.’ To make matters more complex, Allen introduces his first love interest, Maria Elena (Penelope Cruz) into the proceedings, resulting in a three way love affair between her, Cristina, and Juan Antonio.
Maria Elena is just a little off her rocker. She attempts to kill herself unsuccessfully, before coming to stay with Juan Antonio (who by this time is living with his main squeeze, Cristina). A combustible situation like this can only last so long before blowing up and it does in a not so hilarious fashion.
The conclusion of this movie is so unsatisfying that I can’t put it into words. Also, I would have hated seeing this in the theater because the subtitles go by so fast that you can’t follow the Spanish being said. One of the best parts of the movie was Juan Antonio’s insistence that Maria Elena please speak English while staying in his house. That is about the only time I was sincerely amused. Oh well, Woody, I guess you can’t hit ‘em out the park every time.
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